Tag Archives: Sexual Pleasure

Kama Sutra: Sexual Aids & Dildos… WHAT?

Kama Sutra

Lovers in ancient times had a responsibility one to another for sexual satisfaction, and lovemaking. In one of the world’s oldest sexual manuals the Kama Sutra, (“Kama” meaning love and desire, and “Sutra” meaning threading) it is said that lovemaking is a sacred duty between a man and a woman. It was taught within the natures of love, and a deep part of the culture, and as a way of life. Unlike what we are taught in today’s society. We are conditioned to feel shame, guilt and insecurity because of our natural sexual progression and sexual desire.

SensualFoodieChaiTeaSpices-1024x622During the 3rd century there was no such thing as an under orgasmic woman. A husband who was unable to satisfy his lover or his wife was to make every effort to remedy the situation. For a man’s inability to satisfy his wife was not part of the culture, and he must make every provision necessary that would either obtain his erection or encourage his wife’s sexual pleasure. Sages, and/or medicine men and women would prepare elixirs and aphrodisiacs with foods, herbs, and spice mixtures. Some consisted of goats milk, fennel, licorice, pumpkin seeds, cinnamon, almonds, honey, and ghee to strengthen the unfortunate man’s man muscle, and stimulate his sexual desire. If these elixirs weren’t bringing about the desired sexual results in a timely manner he was to remedy the sexually unfortunate situation with foreplay, oral sex or an artificial penis. Yes, you heard it right, a DILDO! He was to skillfully use an artificial penis to give sexual pleasure to his wife. This verse gives instruction to an artificial penis to be used to bring women to orgasmic delight and sexual satisfaction.

Gold Vibrator 2“The man who is utterly unable to achieve an erection should pleasure his wife/lover with a phallus crafted from materials like gold, silver, copper, iron, ivory or horn. The artificial phallus should be shaped to your natural proportions. It will be more arousing for the lady if the outside is studded with a profusion of large, smooth nodules” ( Kama Sutra: Part 7, Chapter 1, Sutras 4–8).

Ooooh, it sounds like these studs and nodules was meant for more vaginal stimulation and arousal upon entry and during penetration. Oh my! Who knew? Here we thought we were sexually advanced in the art of sexual novelties and stimulation, and ancient lovers created methods , means and artifacts to keep a woman happy and sexually satisfied in ancient times!

Black IntimacyFor those you who are sexually frustrated because of your belief that using sexual aids is prohibited. Give yourself permission to experience sexual aids, sexual pleasure, and it’s wonderful release with sexual innovation, and intervention. Don’t cheat yourself, treat yourself with a wonderful dong, dildo, and/or vibrator that can make your love life increase in sexual happiness, and orgasmic pleasure. Men love your woman enough to move pass your ego and let her become sexually satisfied until your beautiful man muscle is putting in work at optimal performance. Remember, a happy wife means a happy life!

When creating that intimate rendezvous with your lover Honey Luv has all of your boudoir sexcessories.  Visit our website at  Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store” or contact us at 337.944.9131 Like us on Facebook  and follow us on Twitter @TheHoneyDiva. For your sensual soul listen to our radio show on Tuesday evenings at 9 pm CST on HoneySoul Radio on Blog Talk Radio.  Remember to “Live in the sensual and LOVE in the Delicious.”

The Honey Diva

Women’s History Month: Where’s Your Orgasm Black Women?

Black beauty 3

With the celebration of Women’s History this month we can’t forget the impact it had on the “Sexual Revolution.” It was a movement that gave voice to women’s sexual pleasure. She was no longer just a mere tool for men, and their need for sexual release and pleasure. She became sexually liberated! She took off those binding undergarments, and began a social movement that challenged traditional codes of behavior related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships throughout the Western world from the 1960s to the 1980s. Sexual liberation included increased acceptance of sex outside of traditional heterosexual, monogamous relationships, and premarital sex. It gave emphasis on women’s self pleasure, body acceptance, contraception, erotic fantasy, and orgasm. YES, I said it ORGASM! It also gave birth to feminism.

Many black women joined the Feminist Movement in search of equality. However, white women and black women’s fight for freedom and equality were very different in respects that white woman were looking to become liberated from her subjugation under her husband, from being white men’s property. It was true we had the same oppressor but, we had very different agendas. Black women desired liberation for herself, her husband, father, sons, daughters, mothers, and community. It wasn’t just about us, black women! We had children, and families. We had pretty black babies who were also developing under social, racial, and economic oppression. We had husbands who were just as much oppressed if not more, under this same order of oppression. Our issue was more about racial equality, educational access, and economic opportunity. We had a WHOOOOOLE lot more fish to fry!

It was about so much more than sexual independence, and pulling off our bras in the street. Many black women left the Feminist Movement and created their own independent Black Feminist movement, and theory that dealt with the issues of black women, race, family, cultural, economic and social conditions. Black Feminist needed to be a firm and viable voice for and within the Black Power movement. This created another challenge for black women. Many were not taken seriously in the Black Power movement due to the conditions in which male domination over women was well saturated in the fabric of American society, and within Black Culture. Black women were left finding her place and her voice, and this was a big addition to our strain within our Black Love relationships.

However, the order of male rule over women in general took shape many moons before slavery. It began in the 4th century  when Roman Emperor Constantine destroyed the Goddess Temples, and the worship of Black Goddesses, and replaced them with White Male Gods and the religion of Christianity. This was the era of doing away with the Feminine Principle, Goddess honor, and worship and the Matriarchal order.  It was replaced with the implementation of the European colonial rule, patriarchal order, government, white male privilege and ideology, and it was circulated throughout the globe.

Black women and white women may have the same oppressor but clearly we had two different fights. In the words of Mama Zogbe, “Before there was a war on Women's Powerrace there was a war on sex, their was a war against the feminine principle, and the Black Goddess.”

Not only were black women fighting for the rights of the family and community we were fighting for the right to be taking seriously within Western culture and society.

Many black women feel we shouldn’t be looked at or viewed as erotic or as sexual symbols in society. But, how else do you expect the Mother of Civilization to be viewed? Sexual energy is the generated driving force and life force of all existence. Because we are the first mothers of civilization, Black women are the driving force of this sexual nature. Yes, it’s a sad thing that this natural admiration has been denigrated to a form of mere lust, and tainted sexual psychology, however it can’t be denied. 

During my experiences as a sex worker. Many white men I have encountered subconsciously knew black women are the First Mothers. These men desired to be sexually dominated, often times through humiliation and painful measures of fulfillment, bowing into submission as they confessed their sins, negative and abusive behavior toward black women while honoring, praising and calling us Goddess, Queen, and Mother of the Universe. At the time I looked at this as some freaky fetish that I was providing for my clients. But, years later as I began to study women’s history, I now view it as an attempt for white men to redeem themselves of their past and current transgressions, and generational iniquity. Yeah, I know a trip, right? My life and stories as a former sex worker are many, and adventurous. It was amazing and I had a blast! *wink*

Now, this brings me to ask, “Where is your orgasm Black women? Yes, we know It wasn’t our agenda to fight for sexual liberation over our racial freedom and equality. But, now many of us have continued to do the same things that many of our fighting foremothers did, put ourselves on the back burning for our children, husbands, and families while everything, and everyone we profess that we love grows, and progresses around us. As the saying goes, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” I’m a firm believer of that!

Again, I ask you, “Where is YOUR orgasm Black women?” Where is your desire to be ALIVE, smell the roses, enjoy the wine, and eat the cookie DAMN IT!  Where is your desire to LIVE in your PURPOSE, and dream BIG? Have you denied your life and sacrificed, loving sexual experiences, and our amazing pleasure potential, for careers, advancement, and opportunity, while never enjoy the fruits of our labor? If you are having amazing, body shaking, Earth quaking orgasms good for you, continue BE alive, and elevate in joy, happiness, and the will to think and feel at one with everything in nature. Remain fertile and ABUNDANT.

black-man-kissing-black-womanBlack LOVE exists and it’s FREEDOM is based on our political, social, sexual and economic influence… “When you want to destroy a community and a people. One must destroy their romantic love. ” – Dr. Amos Wilson, “Purpose of Love in Black Female & Male Relationships.” 

Let’s not allow our desire for conscious activism within our families and communities keep us from springing forth in our feminine power, sexual freedom and pleasure. Let’s not sacrifice the intimacy and binding power of sexual pleasure in our relationships to create another kind of oppression that affects our relationships with ourselves, and our lovers. Everything needs balance, and order.

Celebrate Women’s History and re-introduce yourself to pleasure, whether it be self-pleasure or the pleasure of your lover. We are forging out of the mold of being simply the pleasure and domestic property of men. Experience sexual pleasure and liberate your soul. Let FREEDOM ring with some oooh’s and ahhh’s of healthy relationships and orgasm!

Want to know more about Women and Religion? Check out one of my favorite books that started me on the path of the Goddess, “When God Was a Women” by Merlin Stone. Also, need more information concerning the black women as Goddess and Matriarchal order before patriarchal manipulation? Check out Mama Zogbe’s book The Sybils: The Theft of African Prophecy by The Catholic Church.

For more on Black Feminist thoughts and theory check out www.blackfeminists.org and Patricia Hill Collin’s book, “Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment.”

Tracey R. Bryant also known as “The Honey Diva” is a Romance Specialist, a Self Love and Sensual Empowerment Coach, Holistic Sexual Health, Yoni Steam and Kemetic Reiki Practitioner, Womb Wellness, and Sex Educator. She is the owner of Sensual Honey Feminine Wellness – a new feminine and tranquil spa experience. She is also the owner of Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store.” A sensual empowerment boutique that promotes romance, sensual and sexual health and wellness to women and couples. She is the hostess of HoneySoul Radio a Love, Sex and Relationship online radio show. She can be contacted at TheHoneyDiva1@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

Sex, Energy and Divine Balance

Adam & Eve

 

The idea that MALE and FEMALE energy functions independently and are separate has caused a great deal of confusion, a lack of communication, support and sexual cohesiveness among men and women. I have learned that because of the essential nature of MALE and FEMALE energies, and the fact that they are intertwined, they can only fulfill their FULLEST potential in cooperation. Everything in existence is fueled by both MALE and FEMALE energies, and everything in nature possesses both energies which are present and are coexistent.

The MALE energy is outwardly focused and very EXTERNAL. It’s the Spirit that drives outward manifestation, that materializes and takes form. The MALE energy is an electro force in that it releases energy, and therefore it knows and is aware of it’s strong creative force. It is natural for MALE energy to be highly focused, aggressive and goal-oriented. MALE energy creates individuality.

FEMALE energy is INTERNAL. It’s energy is comforting. It is the energy of the Primal Source, the Flowing Light, Pure Being. It’s energy is attractive, magnetic, highly creative, fertile and abundant source. It has the ability to influence and draw things to itself. It receives and absorbs the inner aspect of all things MALE and FEMALE. It gives birth to the spirit of ideas, visions, and nurtures consciousness. It’s natural for FEMALE energy to be intense and magnetic having the ability to draw MALE energy to itself. It does not differentiate or individualize. The FEMALE energy is all encompassing.

MALE or FEMALE energy may dominate an experience with more of an increased level of  frequency than the other, due to the speed at which it’s essence vibrates toward a propelled purpose this is often times predestined. When we operate from a place of simple lust without thought and compassion, and are unaware of the power and potency of MALE and FEMALE energy we create chaos and confusion that is damaging to ourselves, our creative nature, our connection to source; as well as our ability to manifest like the SUPREME sexual, orgasmic, and creative beings that we are meant to be.

Due to the FEMININE energy being viewed and nurtured as a lesser source, a lack of balance and creative instability exist. The FEMININE must be honored as well as the MASCULINE for a holistic BALANCE in all relationships rather they are physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and/or sexual. We must operate from a space of female acknowledgement, LOVE and SUPPORT for the FEMININE in respect of both energies working equally as a DIVINE unit and complimenting one to the other as a WHOLE, and not as separate energies. Then and only then will we receive authentic SEXUAL intercourse, communication and gratification on a metaphysical level, and create the KING and QUEENDOM of HEAVEN right here on EARTH. Only then will we WO-MANIFEST GOD! 

For more wisdom and information on the subject of Sexual Alchemy, Attraction and Gender listen to HoneySoul Radio archive show. We are joined by Kemetic Scholar, Martial Arts Master, Sexual Alchemist and Pranic Healer, Wayne B. Chandler. He is the internationally known author of the acclaimed book, “Ancient Future: The Teachings and Prophetic Wisdom of the Seven Hermetic Laws of Ancient Egypt.” It’s Universal Wisdom of the Ancestors.

Remember when creating that intimate rendezvous with your lover Honey Luv has all of your boudoir sexcessories. Visit our website at  Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store” or contact us at 337.944.9131 Like us on Facebook  and follow us on Twitter @TheHoneyDiva. For your sensual soul listen to our radio show on Tuesday evenings at 9pm CST on HoneySoul Radio on Blog Talk Radio.  Remember to “Live in the sensual and LOVE in the Delicious.”

~ The Honey Diva

Releasing Fear: The Power of Sexual Pleasure

 

If we are to heal intimately, sensually and sexually we must rid ourselves of sexual shame, doubt and guilt. Fear is the main culprit that keeps us away from discovering our sexual pleasure. Many people think that the opposite of love is hate. However, fear is the opposite of love.  Hate is actually a fear based emotion. Fear is known to stifle and hinder our ability to love, grow and take part in sexual adventures. Fear hinders our ability to experience life’s pleasures;  as well as sexual pleasures in it’s fullest measure. We use fear to shield and block our feelings, and protect to us from vulnerability. But, being vulnerable is what is needed to love freely and experience a joyful state of sexual bliss. Fear based emotions such as anxiety, anger, control, jealousy, sadness, depression, inadequacy, confusion, hurt, loneliness, guilt, shame, selfishness and hate all restrict our ability to release serotonin, the feel good hormone, and oxytocin – the love hormone,  which is released when experiencing sexual pleasure and contributes to our orgasm. The power of sexual pleasure is healing transformation. It removes those moody blues and brings you into a sense of well-being.

The first step to eliminating fear and begin experiencing your sexual pleasure is:

  • Identify: Acknowledge that you are afraid of an experience. 
  • Face It: Recognize your fear and stand up to it. 
  • Take Action: Get busy and get motivated. This builds confidence to break the bondage of fear.
  • Let Go: Releasing people, places and things that keep you in the negative state of fear. 

Letting go and releasing the people that keep us bound by fear can be the most difficult. Many times the people that feed us in that negative way are very close to us and we depend on them and/or they depend on us. We must learn how to develop and find a happy medium. Once we get fear out of the way and remove blockage we can enjoy living, and loving on a very honest and spiritual level, and experience sexual surrender. We must be honest and 100% sure of our sexual arousal and pleasure, and be willing to share ourselves in the most intimate way without fear. This is true healing among lovers. No jealousy, no competition, no insecurities. Just pure, free, unconditional LOVE. Now, that’s healing. 

Remember when creating that intimate rendezvous with that sexy someone Honey Luv has all of your boudoir sexcessories. Visit our website at  Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store” or contact us at 337.944.9131 Like us on Facebook  and follow us on Twitter @TheHoneyDiva. For your sensual soul listen to The Multi Orgasmic Lover Part 2 “Loving Without Fear” on HoneySoul Radio on Blog Talk Radio. Live in the sensual and LOVE in the delicious.