Tag Archives: intimacy

Your Orgasm Is Your Responsibility! Say What?

Touch yourself

How many women and men feel it’s alright to self pleasure (masturbate) while in a relationship? Or do you feel your sexual pleasure is the full responsibility of your lover? Did you know you are 90% responsible for your orgasm? Yes, and the other 10% is based on attraction, visual aesthetics, environment and other stimulating factors.

I’ve come to terms with my pleasure being my responsibility with or without my lover.  It’s my orgasm and I own it!  Now, I do enjoy our intimacy, and the warmth of his body, and every stimulating touch and deep stroke. Yes, I do, and because I do I relieve him of always having to be available to my pleasure, and allow him time to restore himself for those times I need and crave him the most, which is often enough. Plus, self pleasure is just oh so healthy, and a form of self love that I can’t deny myself the opportunity, nor the pleasure to touch myself, and to enjoy and experience all of me in full orgasmic abundance.  I would hate to put all of the responsibility of my orgasm on my lover. I want no pressure on his part when it comes to pleasing me! It can be quite overwhelming, and extremely pressing on the relationship as a whole, depending on your lover for your total orgasmic sensations. I want him to desire me, because his need for me has arisen from the deep recesses of his soul, and his scrotum, not because he feels obligated to do me, because it’s his duty, or my right. Hell, to the naw! 

Finding pleasure and joy with myself is a great way to celebrate me, and feed myself, and build my love arsenal in order to have some more good lovin’ to share. Sexually stimulating and pleasuring myself opens me up to new feelings of desire, and awakens my sexual energy, my joy, my fantasy and my creativity. I utilize my self pleasure as a sex magic ritual. Breathing, and meditating. Visualizing a higher love. Releasing moans of oooh’s, om’s and ahhh’s while speaking to the lover in me. Calling forth the love I deserve and desire in building our relationship forward. It’s a great way to reaffirm my love for myself, and my role as a desirable woman. It’s confirmation that I’m alive and a sensual, loving and sexual being, FULL of juicy goodness in the center of my knowing, in the center of my sweet spot. Don’t deny your pleasures. Self pleasure creates access to a whole new world available to you. It’s opens portals to your abundance, and increases your love bank giving you more than enough to share as your pleasure cup runneth over. You and your lover can let go of your inhibitions, and experience multiple orgasmic sensations that reach a higher level of awareness with no shame, no guilt, just intimacy, and ecstasy. Raise some pressure up off your relationship. Touch yourself, and think about how beautiful you are in the moment. There’s love, healing  and expansion there. Men know this! It’s an unwritten rule. They believe in stroking themselves when we aren’t around ladies, and we should too!

Tracey R. Bryant is a sensual woman, lover, Mother and G-Mama known as “The Honey Diva”. She is a Self Love and Sensual Empowerment Coach, of Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store. and Feminine Health and Womb Wellness Practitioner of Sensual Honey Feminine Wellness . She loves all things feminine and sensual and she believes that feminine wellness, and creativity resides in the healing and balance of the Divine Feminine, “the Womb.” She is the hostess of HoneySoul Radio  a Love, Sex and Soul online radio show. She can be contacted at thehoneydiva1@gmail.com


Soul Sista - Saddi Khali

Photo Credit: Saddi Khali

Many women have come to me and are experiencing hormonal imbalance that is causing physical, emotional and premenstrual pain and issues. Here are some conjure methods and tips to reverse your imbalance, and your irritability. 

1.) Changing your diet. Eating more raw foods such as fruits and vegetables, and removing processed foods is the first thing. A light work out such as walking and lifting light weights for toning to relieve stress. 

2.) Go to the health food store and get “Now” products (that’s the brand) of calcium, vitamin B6 and magnesium and take as labeled on the bottle. Also, massage your womb area days before your moon cycle. Drink tea of herbs used to eliminate excess fluid like dandelion, parsley, and nettle. I love this tea’s ability to help with that “time of the month” and go with the flow. Look for tea that says PMS on it at the health food store, or get these herbs in bulk and mix them 1 part of each. Sweeten with a tablespoon of honey. Honey will give you a boost of energy during this sluggish time.

3.) Avoid processed salt and salty foods. Salt in foods or otherwise causes bloating and water retention. Salt can make those problems of PMS worse. Avoid canned soups and vegetables, deli and processed meats, and salty condiments. I know this is hard one. It’s seems our bodies crave salt when we are on our moon cycles. Stay away!

4.) Chocolate works wonders! Dark chocolate is known to contain magnesium and mood boosting omega 3 and 6 fatty acids. Due to a monthly drop in estrogen and progesterone that happens during our moon cycles, these hormonal changes create a domino effect which results in a temporary drop in the “feel good” hormone serotonin as well as other endorphin’s. Yes, dark chocolate can give you that loving feeling and reverse irritability during our down time.

5.) Make sure to rest and relax as much as possible. Hormonal shifts can make us women lose sleep, which makes us irritable. It is important to get enough sleep to level out your moods. These are natural ways to prevent mood swings, irritability, and PMS.

6.) Light and burn a yellow candle. Yellow is a stimulating and uplifting color it’s vibration is of creativity; intelligence, confidence; movement and energy. It connects to clairvoyance, divination, wisdom, learning, imagination, and inspiration as well as the power of concentration and communication. Used in healing skin conditions as well as stomach complaints and menstrual cramps. Yellow symbolizes the element of Air. 

7.) Burn some essential oils of two drops of lemon, three drops of Clary Sage, two drops of Marjoram oil with a carrier oil of grapeseed or castor oil. These oils individually and in combination are mood enhancers. Don’t underestimate the power of scent and it’s majestic properties.

Speak loving affirmations and stop being a crabby patty. Be more gentle with yourself during this sacred time. Visit our website at  Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store” or contact us at 337.944.9131 Like us on Facebook  and follow us on Twitter @TheHoneyDiva. For your sensual soul listen to our radio show  Tuesday evening at 9pm CST on HoneySoul Radio on Blog Talk Radio. Live in the sensual and LOVE in the delicious.

  ~ The Honey Diva

FOREPLAY: Get More Play!

Foreplay is not just physical. Good foreplay is letting go of inhibitions that can keep you from enjoying yourself and your lover. Feeling good about yourself and your feelings will give you the confidence you need to arrive at sensual and sexual pleasure. Creating your space and environment ahead of time with sexy lingerie, a bubble bath, soft music, candles, and aromatic or tasty love oils will give you more control when the time comes to be sensually aroused. When you want to enhance a sacred union with a sexy and romantic mood the sense of smell (aromatic stimulation), touch (cuddling & massage), taste (kissing & oral stimulation), sight (sexy lingerie), and sound (music) are all participants in you and your lover having a pleasurable erotic experience.
Men may not need foreplay to have sex. Hell, many guys are good to go after just a gust of wind. But a new study proves that guys ache for a little pre-sex action. However, most women have never learned this key lust lesson.  Research shows that men are as interested in foreplay as women are and that they want more than they’re having.  The reason is simple. Men appreciate foreplay for the same reasons women do — it feels good physically, so the common consensus that men like it fast and furious is only a myth. But now that you’re clued into this covert carnal craving, you can give him the bedroom buildup he’s jonesin’ for. Here are some  foreplay for him tips.

 Kiss Him Hard

Men like intense, down and dirty, rough and raw kissing. Men are turned on by women who are confident and passionate while kissing. Make it an all over body experience.

Put your whole body into the act of making out, says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of Stock Market Orgasm. “The more body parts involved, the more intense the experience.” Her formula for an earthshaking smacker he’ll never forget: Cradle his face with one hand and grab his butt with the other while you simultaneously press your breasts and pelvis against him.

Tantalize All of His Senses

Too often, touch is the only sense that takes center stage during pre-intercourse play. But to graduate from basic to mind-blowing foreplay, you have to incorporate all of his passion receptors. Every type of sensory stimulation — the sight of a woman’s body, her whispers and the smell of her skin activates parts of the brain responsible for sexual arousal. Create a combination that treats several senses at the same time. This is the key to a beyond-divine buildup, especially for men. Other ways to make foreplay a full-body experience: Leave the lights on and listen to an extra-sexy CD, or dim the lights and give him a sexy lapdance, take a shower together by the light of scented candles, or drizzle each other with champagne and lick it off as it fizzes on your skin. These are sure fire ways to keep each of your super aroused.

Take Charge

In bed, guys are often so focused on pleasing their partners that they don’t get to bask in being a sex object. By taking the reins, “not only does it show him that you’re into the action as much as he is, but it also feels great to him to have somebody concentrating on his pleasure,” says Dr. Ava Cadell. You know the feeling, right? So, call some shots in the sack Ms. Thang. For instance, if he makes a move to head down below, pull him back up and instead give him the oral affection he deserves.

Bring Him to the Brink

Once you’ve gotten him to a combustible point, he’ll be begging to get to the main event. Ignore him. It’s a guaranteed way to drive him wild with horny, and amplify his orgasm later. The more someone anticipates sex, the more aroused they get, and therefore, the intensity of their sexual experience increases. For example, “almost oral sex” Head down south, get real close and then pass by with just a hot breath. By the time you finally put your mouth on him, it feels so good that he will almost cry with relief. We promise he’ll be begging for mercy.

Let’s not forget the after play ladies. It is just as important. Stroke his hair gently while in his arms. Whisper words of love softly in his ear. Kiss his neck gently. Stroke him tenderly while he lies in your arms and leave a love note in the bathroom. Let him know that you enjoyed him fully. Pleasing your mate can be so rewarding and satisfying. It sends healthy messages of love and intimacy that truly count.

For all of your boudoir sexcessories visit our website at Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store” Like us on Facebook  and follow us on Twitter @TheHoneyDiva. For your sensual soul listen to HoneySoul Radio every Tuesday evening on Blog Talk Radio. Live in the sensual and love in the delicious.

THE BED CHAMBER: Your Love Sanctuary

Creating a romantic environment in the bedroom is essential to good lovemaking. You deserve a bed chamber fit for royalty. It should represent your unique style, and inspire romance and intimacy. The bedroom is a relaxing retreat that replenishes the body and soul. It’s the temple that honors love. Because in the bedroom that’s where the sexual magic happens. That’s where you are the STAR!

Clear the clutter. There is nothing less sexy than piles of stuff such as books, mail, and clothes drowning out your sanctuary. Your bedroom is not a trash can or junk drawer. It’s the space that you and your lover rely on for rest, relaxation, and romance. No one will be in the mood for good sex or any sex if you have to clear piles of dirty laundry before getting into the bed.

The first step to setting the mood is creating the right kind of ambiance and inspiring passion. Sensual art promotes love and sensual wellness. Wall hangings of romantic couples or sexy paintings speak to your conscious and your soul. Photographs of family members in the bedroom are a NO, NO! It’s hard to be romantic with Mom, Dad, your deceased Uncle, or favorite Aunt, or even the kids staring at you while you’re getting it on. Get rid of the family photos. They have no place in the bedroom where the freaky deaky satisfaction is happening

Create inviting soft fabrics, such as silks, colorful sashes and soft egyptian cotton sheets. Include large and small throw pillows and feathertop bedding for comfort to give the bed some personality and bring in an accent color. Soothing colors are just right for relaxation such as;  neutral earth tones, pale blue, pale green, gold, burgundy, hints of orange are colors of romance.  Another option, which will give you an ultra-romantic look, is attaching a canopy from the ceiling. Stay away from an all black color scheme. Remember, you want your bed space to attract the love you want. The energy of color and fabric is very significant in attracting the love you want. Make sure it looks inviting.

Lighting can make your room sexier. It should be soft and subtle. Simply placing red handkerchiefs or colored shades over lamps can help you create a more romantic vibe.

Scented candles are another way to create the mood and set the scene for love. Sensual aromas such as sandalwood, amber & vanilla, cinnamon, and rose create a pampered atmosphere that intrigue the senses and inspire romance.

Mirrors are a sexy consideration if you enjoy voyeurism. Looking at yourself while making love can be so arousing. Watching your lover as you please and tease can make a dull love life new and exciting.

Keep a romantic ambiance by placing  bouquets of fresh flowers on the nightstands. For special occasions, you can scatter rose petals on the floor and bed.

Let your bedroom environment represent how you feel about your sharing your most intimate self with the one you love. Make your bedroom your sensual sanctuary. Only then will you begin to attract the lovin’ you desire and deserve. Now, come on and invite love to spend the night.

Want to learn more about creating your sacred bedroom space read “The Sacred Bedroom” by Jon Robertson. This book is filled with ways and ideas to assist you in creating a sanctuary for spirituality, sexuality and solace.

For all of your boudoir sexcessories visit our website at Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store” Like us on Facebook  and follow us on Twitter @TheHoneyDiva. For your sensual soul listen to HoneySoul Radio every Tuesday evening on Blog Talk Radio. Live in the sensual and love in the delicious.