With the celebration of Women’s History this month we can’t forget the impact it had on the “Sexual Revolution.” It was a movement that gave voice to women’s sexual pleasure. She was no longer just a mere tool for men, and their need for sexual release and pleasure. She became sexually liberated! She took off those binding undergarments, and began a social movement that challenged traditional codes of behavior related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships throughout the Western world from the 1960s to the 1980s. Sexual liberation included increased acceptance of sex outside of traditional heterosexual, monogamous relationships, and premarital sex. It gave emphasis on women’s self pleasure, body acceptance, contraception, erotic fantasy, and orgasm. YES, I said it ORGASM! It also gave birth to feminism.
Many black women joined the Feminist Movement in search of equality. However, white women and black women’s fight for freedom and equality were very different in respects that white woman were looking to become liberated from her subjugation under her husband, from being white men’s property. It was true we had the same oppressor but, we had very different agendas. Black women desired liberation for herself, her husband, father, sons, daughters, mothers, and community. It wasn’t just about us, black women! We had children, and families. We had pretty black babies who were also developing under social, racial, and economic oppression. We had husbands who were just as much oppressed if not more, under this same order of oppression. Our issue was more about racial equality, educational access, and economic opportunity. We had a WHOOOOOLE lot more fish to fry!
It was about so much more than sexual independence, and pulling off our bras in the street. Many black women left the Feminist Movement and created their own independent Black Feminist movement, and theory that dealt with the issues of black women, race, family, cultural, economic and social conditions. Black Feminist needed to be a firm and viable voice for and within the Black Power movement. This created another challenge for black women. Many were not taken seriously in the Black Power movement due to the conditions in which male domination over women was well saturated in the fabric of American society, and within Black Culture. Black women were left finding her place and her voice, and this was a big addition to our strain within our Black Love relationships.
However, the order of male rule over women in general took shape many moons before slavery. It began in the 4th century when Roman Emperor Constantine destroyed the Goddess Temples, and the worship of Black Goddesses, and replaced them with White Male Gods and the religion of Christianity. This was the era of doing away with the Feminine Principle, Goddess honor, and worship and the Matriarchal order. It was replaced with the implementation of the European colonial rule, patriarchal order, government, white male privilege and ideology, and it was circulated throughout the globe.
Black women and white women may have the same oppressor but clearly we had two different fights. In the words of Mama Zogbe, “Before there was a war on race there was a war on sex, their was a war against the feminine principle, and the Black Goddess.”
Not only were black women fighting for the rights of the family and community we were fighting for the right to be taking seriously within Western culture and society.
Many black women feel we shouldn’t be looked at or viewed as erotic or as sexual symbols in society. But, how else do you expect the Mother of Civilization to be viewed? Sexual energy is the generated driving force and life force of all existence. Because we are the first mothers of civilization, Black women are the driving force of this sexual nature. Yes, it’s a sad thing that this natural admiration has been denigrated to a form of mere lust, and tainted sexual psychology, however it can’t be denied.
During my experiences as a sex worker. Many white men I have encountered subconsciously knew black women are the First Mothers. These men desired to be sexually dominated, often times through humiliation and painful measures of fulfillment, bowing into submission as they confessed their sins, negative and abusive behavior toward black women while honoring, praising and calling us Goddess, Queen, and Mother of the Universe. At the time I looked at this as some freaky fetish that I was providing for my clients. But, years later as I began to study women’s history, I now view it as an attempt for white men to redeem themselves of their past and current transgressions, and generational iniquity. Yeah, I know a trip, right? My life and stories as a former sex worker are many, and adventurous. It was amazing and I had a blast! *wink*
Now, this brings me to ask, “Where is your orgasm Black women? Yes, we know It wasn’t our agenda to fight for sexual liberation over our racial freedom and equality. But, now many of us have continued to do the same things that many of our fighting foremothers did, put ourselves on the back burning for our children, husbands, and families while everything, and everyone we profess that we love grows, and progresses around us. As the saying goes, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” I’m a firm believer of that!
Again, I ask you, “Where is YOUR orgasm Black women?” Where is your desire to be ALIVE, smell the roses, enjoy the wine, and eat the cookie DAMN IT! Where is your desire to LIVE in your PURPOSE, and dream BIG? Have you denied your life and sacrificed, loving sexual experiences, and our amazing pleasure potential, for careers, advancement, and opportunity, while never enjoy the fruits of our labor? If you are having amazing, body shaking, Earth quaking orgasms good for you, continue BE alive, and elevate in joy, happiness, and the will to think and feel at one with everything in nature. Remain fertile and ABUNDANT.
Black LOVE exists and it’s FREEDOM is based on our political, social, sexual and economic influence… “When you want to destroy a community and a people. One must destroy their romantic love. ” – Dr. Amos Wilson, “Purpose of Love in Black Female & Male Relationships.”
Let’s not allow our desire for conscious activism within our families and communities keep us from springing forth in our feminine power, sexual freedom and pleasure. Let’s not sacrifice the intimacy and binding power of sexual pleasure in our relationships to create another kind of oppression that affects our relationships with ourselves, and our lovers. Everything needs balance, and order.
Celebrate Women’s History and re-introduce yourself to pleasure, whether it be self-pleasure or the pleasure of your lover. We are forging out of the mold of being simply the pleasure and domestic property of men. Experience sexual pleasure and liberate your soul. Let FREEDOM ring with some oooh’s and ahhh’s of healthy relationships and orgasm!
Want to know more about Women and Religion? Check out one of my favorite books that started me on the path of the Goddess, “When God Was a Women” by Merlin Stone. Also, need more information concerning the black women as Goddess and Matriarchal order before patriarchal manipulation? Check out Mama Zogbe’s book The Sybils: The Theft of African Prophecy by The Catholic Church.
For more on Black Feminist thoughts and theory check out www.blackfeminists.org and Patricia Hill Collin’s book, “Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment.”
Tracey R. Bryant also known as “The Honey Diva” is a Romance Specialist, a Self Love and Sensual Empowerment Coach, Holistic Sexual Health, Yoni Steam and Kemetic Reiki Practitioner, Womb Wellness, and Sex Educator. She is the owner of Sensual Honey Feminine Wellness – a new feminine and tranquil spa experience. She is also the owner of Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store.” A sensual empowerment boutique that promotes romance, sensual and sexual health and wellness to women and couples. She is the hostess of HoneySoul Radio a Love, Sex and Relationship online radio show. She can be contacted at TheHoneyDiva1@gmail.com