Your Orgasm Is Your Responsibility! Say What?

Touch yourself

How many women and men feel it’s alright to self pleasure (masturbate) while in a relationship? Or do you feel your sexual pleasure is the full responsibility of your lover? Did you know you are 90% responsible for your orgasm? Yes, and the other 10% is based on attraction, visual aesthetics, environment and other stimulating factors.

I’ve come to terms with my pleasure being is my responsibility with or without my lover.  It’s my orgasm and I own it!  Now, I do enjoy our intimacy, and the warmth of his body, and every stimulating touch and deep stroke. Yes, i do, and because I do I relieve him of always having to be available to my pleasure, and allow him time to restore himself for those times I need and crave him the most, which is often enough. Plus, self pleasure is just oh so healthy, and a form of self love that I can’t deny myself the opportunity, nor the pleasure to touch myself, and to enjoy and experience all of me in full orgasmic abundance.  Plus, I would hate to put all of the responsibility of my orgasm on my lover. I want no pressure on his part when it comes to pleasing me! It can be quite overwhelming, and pressing on the relationship as a whole, depending on him for your total orgasmic sensations. I want him to desire me not feel obligated to do me, because it’s a duty. Hell, to the naw! 

Finding pleasure and joy with myself is a great way to celebrate me, and feed myself, and build my love arsenal in order to have some more good lovin’ to share. Sexually stimulating and pleasuring myself opens me up to new feelings of desire, and awakens my sexual energy, my joy, my fantasy and my creativity. I utilize my self pleasure as a sex magic ritual. Breathing, and meditating. Visualizing a higher love. Releasing moans of oooh’s, om’s and ahhh’s while speaking to the lover in me. Calling forth the love I deserve and desire in building our relationship forward. It’s a great way to reaffirm my love for myself, and role as a desirable woman. It’s confirmation that I’m alive and a sensual, loving and sexual being, FULL of juicy goodness in the center of my knowing, in the center of my sweet spot. Don’t deny your pleasures. Self pleasure creates access to a whole new world available to you. It’s opens portals to your abundance, and increases your love bank giving you more than enough to share as your pleasure cup runneth over. You and your lover can let go of your inhibitions, and experience multiple orgasmic sensations that reach a higher level of awareness with no shame, no guilt, just intimacy, and ecstasy. Raise some pressure up off your relationship. Touch yourself, and think about how beautiful you are in the moment. There’s love, healing  and expansion there. Men know this! It’s an unwritten rule. They believe in stroking themselves when we aren’t around ladies, and we should too!

Tracey R. Bryant is a sensual woman, lover, Mother and G-Mama known as “The Honey Diva”. She is a Self Love and Sensual Empowerment Coach, of Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store. and Feminine Health and Womb Wellness Practitioner of Sensual Honey Feminine Wellness . She loves all things feminine and sensual and she believes that feminine wellness, and creativity resides in the healing and balance of the Divine Feminine, “the Womb.” She is the hostess of HoneySoul Radio  a Love, Sex and Soul online radio show. She can be contacted at

Release, Renew and Let Go!

Autumn lady

The fall equinox is HERE! The steamy hot days of the summer sun are soon behind us. Let what we have outgrown fall from our lives like autumn leaves. As this new cycle begins. Let’s be reborn. Create fertile ground as we prepare for a FULL harvest. Let’s FREE ourselves from emotional toxins and negative energy that has made some of us stale.

I love to radiate and use the color orange when I’m releasing and invoking FREEDOM from unwanted, old, and outdated feelings of disappointment. Orange is a warm, invigorating and inviting color. It is both physically and mentally stimulating, The color psychology of orange is optimistic and uplifting. Orange actually represents the fall season. It rejuvenates our spirit and is associated with our Sacral Chakra. It deals with our creativity, sexuality, relationships and pleasure. The color orange also offers emotional strength in difficult times. It helps us to bounce back from disappointments, grief and despair. It helps us to move on. When you need to release old baggage from a relationship, burn an orange candle, use a bergamot essential oil in your bath, and place a dab on your heart, and in the center of your third eye, in between your brows. Use and wear healing crystal energy such as Carnelian, Moonstone or Orange Calcite. Remember, to always declare what it is you want to be released from, and FREE yourself from unworthy past experiences.

Give away that dress that reminds you of a unhappy time, experience or a bad relationship. Toss that picture of a friend that constantly puts you down, and never has anything nice to say. Get rid of your ex’s old clothes and shoes, that you’ve stored in the garage, or the back of the closet. Get rid of that stagnant energy and make room for active, new, thriving and vigorous relationships, that bring a beautiful bounty of growth and goodness. It’s a time for RELEASE and RENEWAL.

Autumn is the season to let go of all things that are not in TRUTH or in line with your happiness. I repeat…“YOUR HAPPINESS!” OWN it, LOVE it, and LIVE it, and let it GO! You will LOVE you for it. ~ The Honey Diva”

Kama Sutra: Sexual Aids & Dildos… WHAT?

Kama Sutra

Lovers in ancient times had a responsibility one to another for sexual satisfaction, and lovemaking. In one of the world’s oldest sexual manuals the Kama Sutra, (“Kama” meaning love and desire, and “Sutra” meaning threading) it is said that lovemaking is a sacred duty between a man and a woman. It was taught within the natures of love, and a deep part of the culture, and as a way of life. Unlike what we are taught in today’s society. We are conditioned to feel shame, guilt and insecurity because of our natural sexual progression and sexual desire.

SensualFoodieChaiTeaSpices-1024x622During the 3rd century there was no such thing as an under orgasmic woman. A husband who was unable to satisfy his lover or his wife was to make every effort to remedy the situation. For a man’s inability to satisfy his wife was not part of the culture, and he must make every provision necessary that would either obtain his erection or encourage his wife’s sexual pleasure. Sages, and/or medicine men and women would prepare elixirs and aphrodisiacs with foods, herbs, and spice mixtures. Some consisted of goats milk, fennel, licorice, pumpkin seeds, cinnamon, almonds, honey, and ghee to strengthen the unfortunate man’s man muscle, and stimulate his sexual desire. If these elixirs weren’t bringing about the desired sexual results in a timely manner he was to remedy the sexually unfortunate situation with foreplay, oral sex or an artificial penis. Yes, you heard it right, a DILDO! He was to skillfully use an artificial penis to give sexual pleasure to his wife. This verse gives instruction to an artificial penis to be used to bring women to orgasmic delight and sexual satisfaction.

Gold Vibrator 2“The man who is utterly unable to achieve an erection should pleasure his wife/lover with a phallus crafted from materials like gold, silver, copper, iron, ivory or horn. The artificial phallus should be shaped to your natural proportions. It will be more arousing for the lady if the outside is studded with a profusion of large, smooth nodules” ( Kama Sutra: Part 7, Chapter 1, Sutras 4–8).

Ooooh, it sounds like these studs and nodules was meant for more vaginal stimulation and arousal upon entry and during penetration. Oh my! Who knew? Here we thought we were sexually advanced in the art of sexual novelties and stimulation, and ancient lovers created methods , means and artifacts to keep a woman happy and sexually satisfied in ancient times!

Black IntimacyFor those you who are sexually frustrated because of your belief that using sexual aids is prohibited. Give yourself permission to experience sexual aids, sexual pleasure, and it’s wonderful release with sexual innovation, and intervention. Don’t cheat yourself, treat yourself with a wonderful dong, dildo, and/or vibrator that can make your love life increase in sexual happiness, and orgasmic pleasure. Men love your woman enough to move pass your ego and let her become sexually satisfied until your beautiful man muscle is putting in work at optimal performance. Remember, a happy wife means a happy life!

When creating that intimate rendezvous with your lover Honey Luv has all of your boudoir sexcessories.  Visit our website at  Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store” or contact us at 337.944.9131 Like us on Facebook  and follow us on Twitter @TheHoneyDiva. For your sensual soul listen to our radio show on Tuesday evenings at 9 pm CST on HoneySoul Radio on Blog Talk Radio.  Remember to “Live in the sensual and LOVE in the Delicious.”

The Honey Diva

Women’s History Month: Where’s Your Orgasm Black Women?

Black beauty 3

With the celebration of Women’s History this month we can’t forget the impact it had on the “Sexual Revolution.” It was a movement that gave voice to women’s sexual pleasure. She was no longer just a mere tool for men, and their need for sexual release and pleasure. She became sexually liberated! She took off those binding undergarments, and began a social movement that challenged traditional codes of behavior related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships throughout the Western world from the 1960s to the 1980s. Sexual liberation included increased acceptance of sex outside of traditional heterosexual, monogamous relationships, and premarital sex. It gave emphasis on women’s self pleasure, body acceptance, contraception, erotic fantasy, and orgasm. YES, I said it ORGASM! It also gave birth to feminism.

Many black women joined the Feminist Movement in search of equality. However, white women and black women’s fight for freedom and equality were very different in respects that white woman were looking to become liberated from her subjugation under her husband, from being white men’s property. It was true we had the same oppressor but, we had very different agendas. Black women desired liberation for herself, her husband, father, sons, daughters, mothers, and community. It wasn’t just about us, black women! We had children, and families. We had pretty black babies who were also developing under social, racial, and economic oppression. We had husbands who were just as much oppressed if not more, under this same order of oppression. Our issue was more about racial equality, educational access, and economic opportunity. We had a WHOOOOOLE lot more fish to fry!

It was about so much more than sexual independence, and pulling off our bras in the street. Many black women left the Feminist Movement and created their own independent Black Feminist movement, and theory that dealt with the issues of black women, race, family, cultural, economic and social conditions. Black Feminist needed to be a firm and viable voice for and within the Black Power movement. This created another challenge for black women. Many were not taken seriously in the Black Power movement due to the conditions in which male domination over women was well saturated in the fabric of American society, and within Black Culture. Black women were left finding her place and her voice, and this was a big addition to our strain within our Black Love relationships.

However, the order of male rule over women in general took shape many moons before slavery. It began in the 4th century  when Roman Emperor Constantine destroyed the Goddess Temples, and the worship of Black Goddesses, and replaced them with White Male Gods and the religion of Christianity. This was the era of doing away with the Feminine Principle, Goddess honor, and worship and the Matriarchal order.  It was replaced with the implementation of the European colonial rule, patriarchal order, government, white male privilege and ideology, and it was circulated throughout the globe.

Black women and white women may have the same oppressor but clearly we had two different fights. In the words of Mama Zogbe, “Before there was a war on Women's Powerrace there was a war on sex, their was a war against the feminine principle, and the Black Goddess.”

Not only were black women fighting for the rights of the family and community we were fighting for the right to be taking seriously within Western culture and society.

Many black women feel we shouldn’t be looked at or viewed as erotic or as sexual symbols in society. But, how else do you expect the Mother of Civilization to be viewed? Sexual energy is the generated driving force and life force of all existence. Because we are the first mothers of civilization, Black women are the driving force of this sexual nature. Yes, it’s a sad thing that this natural admiration has been denigrated to a form of mere lust, and tainted sexual psychology, however it can’t be denied. 

During my experiences as a sex worker. Many white men I have encountered subconsciously knew black women are the First Mothers. These men desired to be sexually dominated, often times through humiliation and painful measures of fulfillment, bowing into submission as they confessed their sins, negative and abusive behavior toward black women while honoring, praising and calling us Goddess, Queen, and Mother of the Universe. At the time I looked at this as some freaky fetish that I was providing for my clients. But, years later as I began to study women’s history, I now view it as an attempt for white men to redeem themselves of their past and current transgressions, and generational iniquity. Yeah, I know a trip, right? My life and stories as a former sex worker are many, and adventurous. It was amazing and I had a blast! *wink*

Now, this brings me to ask, “Where is your orgasm Black women? Yes, we know It wasn’t our agenda to fight for sexual liberation over our racial freedom and equality. But, now many of us have continued to do the same things that many of our fighting foremothers did, put ourselves on the back burning for our children, husbands, and families while everything, and everyone we profess that we love grows, and progresses around us. As the saying goes, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” I’m a firm believer of that!

Again, I ask you, “Where is YOUR orgasm Black women?” Where is your desire to be ALIVE, smell the roses, enjoy the wine, and eat the cookie DAMN IT!  Where is your desire to LIVE in your PURPOSE, and dream BIG? Have you denied your life and sacrificed, loving sexual experiences, and our amazing pleasure potential, for careers, advancement, and opportunity, while never enjoy the fruits of our labor? If you are having amazing, body shaking, Earth quaking orgasms good for you, continue BE alive, and elevate in joy, happiness, and the will to think and feel at one with everything in nature. Remain fertile and ABUNDANT.

black-man-kissing-black-womanBlack LOVE exists and it’s FREEDOM is based on our political, social, sexual and economic influence… “When you want to destroy a community and a people. One must destroy their romantic love. ” – Dr. Amos Wilson, “Purpose of Love in Black Female & Male Relationships.” 

Let’s not allow our desire for conscious activism within our families and communities keep us from springing forth in our feminine power, sexual freedom and pleasure. Let’s not sacrifice the intimacy and binding power of sexual pleasure in our relationships to create another kind of oppression that affects our relationships with ourselves, and our lovers. Everything needs balance, and order.

Celebrate Women’s History and re-introduce yourself to pleasure, whether it be self-pleasure or the pleasure of your lover. We are forging out of the mold of being simply the pleasure and domestic property of men. Experience sexual pleasure and liberate your soul. Let FREEDOM ring with some oooh’s and ahhh’s of healthy relationships and orgasm!

Want to know more about Women and Religion? Check out one of my favorite books that started me on the path of the Goddess, “When God Was a Women” by Merlin Stone. Also, need more information concerning the black women as Goddess and Matriarchal order before patriarchal manipulation? Check out Mama Zogbe’s book The Sybils: The Theft of African Prophecy by The Catholic Church.

For more on Black Feminist thoughts and theory check out and Patricia Hill Collin’s book, “Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment.”

Tracey R. Bryant also known as “The Honey Diva” is a Romance Specialist, a Self Love and Sensual Empowerment Coach, Holistic Sexual Health, Yoni Steam and Kemetic Reiki Practitioner, Womb Wellness, and Sex Educator. She is the owner of Sensual Honey Feminine Wellness – a new feminine and tranquil spa experience. She is also the owner of Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store.” A sensual empowerment boutique that promotes romance, sensual and sexual health and wellness to women and couples. She is the hostess of HoneySoul Radio a Love, Sex and Relationship online radio show. She can be contacted at





Love, Money, Milk and Honey

loving him

I hear so many women say they won’t or don’t want to accept a man’s money, under any circumstance. I have heard them say that they don’t feel right accepting money from a man because they feel as though they are prostituting themselves when they have laid down with him, and he offers to pay a bill, or an expense, or ask her how he may provide for her with something she needs or wants. Some women get offended when a  man states his desire to gift her with anything that holds any monetary value. Women have told me they feel cheap, and they don’t need a man to provide for them. That they can provide for themselves. These are things that make me go, “Hmmm!” I raise an eyebrow or two. “Why do I raise an eyebrow you ask?” Because I also hear these same women complain about there being no good men. 

I don’t care what anyone says a man having money is super sexy! Knowing how to double it up and triple stack it is such a major turn on. Being broke isn’t pretty or attractive at anytime. In order for our union to be successful, expand and grow we have to be willing to receive. 

We attract what we think and what we feel. If we think and feel there are no good men, that is what we will attract. We will attract cheap, insensitive, self-centered men, who can give a rat’s ass if we eat, if we keep our your lights on, have gas in our car, if our car note is paid, if we get to work or not, or make it to class on time, if we need toilet paper, or if we have pampered ourselves lately, and if we are feeling comfortable or not. I could go on and on. However, I personally have no problem sharing my time, space and energy with a man who loves to provide for me. A man who feels I am deserving of his money. These qualities get me all hot and bothered. He has found one very important way to stimulate my succulent center. I am full of sexual energy, and ready to reward him with all my moist, juicy goodness.

man-giving-woman-money 1A man sharing his money to honor what he feels, and who he believes to be a deserving woman is a man not only sharing his money but his wealth. I’m not just speaking of monetary wealth. I’m talking about his view of who you are in connection to his wealth, to his assets, his substance and his self-worth. It’s much deeper than the surface of what we think money represents. It has to do with his mentality, and his state of mind about what he feels he deserves when it comes to you, and what he feels you deserve when it comes to him. He has included you in his wealthy place. A real man knows that when his woman is happy she will be at her greatest potential. At her greatest potential she will inspire him and give him what he needs to develop, grow and expand. A man who is willing to share his money with you is a man who is honoring his manhood in connection to who you are as a woman, who you are as a nurturer, and your feminine ability to bring out the best in him, how you influence, and inspire him, how you make him feel when he is with you, and even how your energy makes him feel when you’re not with him. He is ultimately honoring you.

Let’s be clear! This inspiration that I speak of is stimulated through SEX! Yes, ladies I know what many of you are thinking,  “Sex and money is not something that should be exchanged. There isn’t any amount of money that equates to my pussy. It’s priceless!”

I agree! My love and my body are priceless and no amount of money can match it’s worth. This is why when a man has a serious thing for YOU he will continuously share his money, and his wealth in a variety of ways over and again. Because in his spirit that man knows he is honoring you through his worth, and a man’s worth is connected to his wallet, and his means of providing, and proving his affections. Men want SEX, support, love, encouragement and reassurance, and most of the time in that order. We have been misinformed about sex and money. “Sex is the GREAT motivator. Men will move mountains.” Quote me as saying that. It’s Yin and Yang. Male and Female. It’s Universal Law, Cosmic Order and Divine Principle. What we know to be Sacred Masculine energy releases, gives out and is action oriented, with a desire to manifest, and produce. Divine Feminine energy receives, absorbs, nurtures, develops and nourishes with a desire to multiply, and increase in and of itself, giving birth whether that be an idea, a vision, a child or our man. Yes, Ladies we are constantly using our feminine energy to rebirth our men.

man giving a woman a giftThe #1 thing we women want is SECURITY. “Security equals money.” Think about it! We want to know that we don’t have to worry about the eviction or foreclosure notice being stuck on the door next month, or that our home and place of refuge, or our comfort is being threatened.  As women most of us need to feel secure to engage in sex with a man, especially if we are contemplating having a relationship. Security brings comfort, and security and comfort brings about more sex. More great sex! When you are happy and secure you desire to have sex all the time. We stay hot and ready! Security and comfort enhances romance, happiness and pleasure. We create and experience BOMB orgasms when we feel secure. Rather it’s financial, emotional, or mental. Security equates stability. We need are men to be stable. Men need sex to thrive. . 

happy black man

A man without money can’t support his role in providing, protecting nor securing his position as THE MAN, and we can’t expect him to contribute his part if we won’t accept his money. A Real Man desires to give, and provide for the woman he professes he loves, and if he doesn’t have it he’s thinking of a means of getting it, because she is his inspiration. Just think about how happy the two of you are when you are not stressing about money issues? Ladies, don’t ever become so independent that you won’t allow a man to provide, or do for you. Even if you do have it for yourself, allow him his rightful place in being a MAN. Allow him the room to do what he is born to do. Ladies, a real man wants to spoil YOU!  Accept him in all of his generosity. Let him play his position. We can eliminate many bad, drama filled relationships if we step our game up,  increase our self worth and recognize our pussy potential. 

I feel there is no bigger turn OFF then a man having money and not releasing it, especially if he desires to release his semen all inside my hot sugar walls. I would certainly play myself small if I were to do without, and Mister is enjoying all of my creamy essence while depositing his DNA.  As the saying goes, “No romance without finance.” This is true. There is nothing good that’s going to come out of any relationship between a man and a woman if he is not responsible for his portion of the supervision. 

When it’s all said and done we can LOVE his dirty drawers, but love doesn’t keep the lights on. Love and money are a great combination. Love, SEX and money now that’s the ULTIMATE collabo! Anything is possible and can be done when in love, while enjoying the binding commitment of two souls experiencing orgasm, and working from a space of abundance. The KINGDOM & QUEENDOM of Heaven is at hand. Balance is key. Without money, there’s no milk and honey. Ladies, let him adore you. 

Want more of this “Love, Sex and Money” wisdom listen to HoneySoul Radio “Sex Love & Prosperity” with Rev. Goddess Charmaine. We discuss Sexual Energy Flow, Abundance, Prosperity, Sexual Transmutation, Wealth, and how to change our limited thinking about money. ~ The Honey Diva 

Tracey R. Bryant also known as “The Honey Diva” is a Romance Specialist, a Self Love and Sensual Empowerment Coach, Holistic Sexual Health, Yoni Steam and Kemetic Reiki Practitioner, Womb Wellness, and Sex Educator. She is the owner of Sensual Honey Feminine Wellness – a new feminine and tranquil spa experience. She is also the owner of Honey Luv Lingerie & More “The Romance Store.” A sensual empowerment boutique that promotes romance, sensual and sexual health and wellness to women and couples. She is the hostess of HoneySoul Radio a Love, Sex and Relationship online radio show. She can be contacted at